Countdown

May 31, 2010

It’s funny how life works.  Not only is my cousin getting married in a few days, but my classes for the term are going to start this Saturday.  That pretty much means no more goofing off for a while, as I’ll have to focus on my studies again.  Also, depending on whether or not one of my work applications gets accepted, I’ll have to worry about a new job as well.  Hmm.

I guess that will have to mean I’m going to have to make the most of the vacation time I have left.  Ah, so many hobbies, so little time to devote to all of them.

Speaking of hobbies, I found it amusing that, in the course of trying to fill out the timeline of the Azure Blades, I’m having difficulty not adding over-the-top instances of bravado done by battle-brothers of the Chapter.  I chalk it up to the need of a writer to make their creations not only be unique, but generally interesting when compared to the exploits of, say, the Ultramarines (as listed in Codex: Space Marines) or the Blood Angels.  I mean, not everyone can be Marneus Calgar, or the Sanguinor, and I’m finding it very hard getting just the right balance of heroic without going unbelievably over-the-top (read: the Sanguinor versus Ka’Bandha).

I guess I’ll just have to muddle my way through, somehow.


Sunny Day, Sunday

May 30, 2010

The weather is lovely today, and despite the heat I’m tempted to go out this afternoon, instead of just staying home and indulging my insular hobbies.  Prince of Persia is showing in some of the cinemas over at Glorietta and Greenbelt, and while I haven’t been paying attention to the critic reviews, I figure it’s as good as an excuse as any to watch a movie.  Mmm, popcorn…

After that, I’ll probably spend the afternoon finishing that colored pic of Mayumi I’ve been working over during the past week.  I’m still not too confident about the shade and highlight I chose for her green dress, but I think I can manage something  presentable at least.

When that’s done, who knows?  Maybe I’ll just work on the Fast Attack choices of my Space Marine army, which had always been its major weakness.  I’ve got a pair of Land Speeder Typhoons still unassembled, so if I’m not too drained from coloring I could start on those.


Late to the Party

May 29, 2010

Well, today is supposed to be the start of another lazy weekend spent at home, but luckily (or unluckily, depending on how you look at it) I’ve got stuff to do.  Since my cousin is going to be married on the 3rd of June (wow, that’s one of those things that really hammers the point home that I’m both old AND still single), I’m going out this afternoon to buy gifts (nanay and tatay suggested household ware like plates and kitchen utensils) for the wedding.  Mmph, inasmuch as I’d like to give something both practical AND memorable, I’m constrained by my lack of budget.  Ah well.

On the hobby front, I have to say I wasn’t too happy with my coloring efforts last night.  Maybe it’s the choice of color palette for Mayumi’s green blouse, but I’m having more than a little trouble blending the colors I used.  I guess I need more practice, and an expert in dynamic lighting I am not.




Burden-Free

May 28, 2010

I have to say, I feel more than a little relieved that I’ve just paid off the charges on the three credit cards I use.  It’s one of those major downsides to being a full-time student, in that there’s no income to pay for all these bills, never mind credit card charges brought about by a night’s worth of impulse-purchasing.  *sigh*  I’m going to have to thank my mother for bailing me out again this month, but I can’t rely on her kindness again for too long — which is why I’m hoping that one of those job applications I sent would go through.

I’ll just have to worry about the work schedule possibly conflicting with my class schedules AFTER I get hired.

Well that’s it for my financial issues.  On the hobby side, I hope to make progress on the pic I’ve been coloring on Paint Tool SAI for the past few days.  Today’s hurdle: clothing.  This is probably the part where my inexperience with colored artwork will be REALLY apparent, nevermind the fact that I just had to use green for Mayumi’s dress.


On an Evangelion-related tangent… After participating in a rather interesting  conversation over at Animesuki’s forums, I’m surprised at the mixed reception some posters had on the movie, and some of them had outright negative things to say about the movie series.

Had the majority of the English-speaking fandom turned  into very bitter and insular grognards while I was part of the corporate world?  I’m honestly surprised at just how much (in the positive direction it seems) my outlook had diverged with my contemporaries, at least when EVA and its derivatives are concerned.  I mean, isn’t a new perspective on a beloved franchise a good thing?

Then again, I’m not ‘hard-core’…


Apocrypha in Progress, Part 3

May 27, 2010

As one might guess, I’m definitely making progress on the picture I drew just two days ago.  After playing around with the blending options available, I managed to finish shading Mayumi’s eyes, skin, and hair, and while it’s fairly obvious I need to work on my Airbrush and Wet Brush combination, I still think it turned out fairly well.  Definitely beginner-level, but still nice enough to post on Pixiv.

Tomorrow however, comes the tricky part: the dress.  Let’s see if I can pull off another minor miracle, yes?


Apocrypha in Progress part 2

May 26, 2010

Oh yes, I’m definitely making progress.

I’m really happy at how user-friendly Picture Tool SAI is, as the picture above was base-colored after less than two hours worth of work, which is really something when compared to my previous experiences with Photoshop.  I’m fast approaching the trickier parts (for a layman I mean) of coloring, which is toning and effects.  And I never did read finish that tutorial on lighting effects…



Uncharted Territory

May 26, 2010

My room is undergoing a partial fix today, with the old set of window screens taken off in preparation for both a newer set as well as the A/C for my room.  As much as I’d like for the work to go faster, it’s likely that the air-conditioning unit won’t be in place until at least the end of the week.  I do hope that the screens get finished before the day ends though as a lack of screens would mean that I’d have to close the windows to my room to prevent flies, mosquitoes, and the odd bat from getting into my room… Which would make it unbearably hot.  Eargh.

Still, it’s not yet so bad as of yet.  Although it’s just past lunch time, there’s a steady breeze blowing, and it offsets the heat somewhat, which means it’s just on this side of bearable.  Well, it’s outside of my control, so I better make the most of the situation, and get use out of my PC before it overheats.


Due to my current financial situation, I wasn’t able to pre-order the DVD for the second movie of Rebuild of Evangelion (ヱヴァンゲリヲン新劇場版: 破), so as usual I’m forced to resort to extra-legal means to watch it — the screenshots I took (via FRAPS) are from the download I partook in.  I feel guilty as heck, but at least I can make up for it later (I finally have some nice leads on work) buying those Blu-Rays once I get a steady salary again.

What can I say?  I enjoyed the movie very much, and it’s not due to the fact that it’s a DVD-rip instead of a cam-rip this time around.  Then again I think I’m an anomaly amongst many of the old so-called fans of the Evangelion franchise, who dislike the movies with a passion.  What a bunch of bitter old grognards many of my fellows have turned into, after a decade.  It’s kind of sad, but I suppose I’m not ‘hard-core’ anymore (the fact that I can’t even join EVAGeeks is a testament to my lack of EVA-cred) .

My complaints with my fellow EVA-fans aside, I’m looking forward to where the movies are all headed.  It’s going to be exciting, to say the least, as the story is already heading into unknown territory.  No more comparing to the original TV series from this point on, folks!

Hmmm, now what to do after the movie?  I guess I’ll just continue with tinkering with Paint Tool SAI.  Lets see if I’ll be able to color that pic with it…



Apocrypha in Progress

May 25, 2010

And no, I’m not talking about my other work in progress here on the blog.

Along with writing, I used to do my share of drawing, or at the very least line-art.  Much like my writing though, my drawing output all but stopped when I started working full-time, and eventually became somewhat supplanted by painting Warhammer 40000 figures.  However… I still have my old sketchbooks, and every so often I’m overcoming by the urge to doodle.

Like this afternoon.

A very quick sketch of Mayumi reading, done in less than fifteen minutes

Now, I have a Pixiv account, but I rarely ever upload any of my work there because, well, it’s kind of embarrassing to do so.  Since I’ve never gotten the hang of coloring my pics (and lets face it, much of the output on Pixiv are not only colored, but gorgeously so), and cleaning up the scans of my drawings has always been a pain to do on Photoshop, (not to mention time consuming, where I literally spent DAYS on clean-up) I just gave up.

A decade and a half later, in the course of finding a less time-consuming way to clean up the sketch above, I stumbled upon Paint Tool SAI, which could be described as a “casual artist’s” picture editor.  The results are astounding, at least for me (which is funny, since SAI seems to be the tool of choice for some PIXIV artists), and while I’m still trying to learn the bulk of its features, I’m happy to say that I’ve finally solved my clean-up woes.


While it still took me more than two hours, that’s EXPONENTIALLY less time than I’ve spent trying to do clean-up on Photoshop.  Sheesh.

Since I’ve gotten the picture pretty much prepped, I’m thinking of coloring it now as well.  It’s going to be a definite work in progress, though much like the expansion of the Timeline of the Azure Blades it’s going to be a long-term project, since the start of classes is fast approaching.  Still, I think it’s worth doing, and besides, Mayumi needs more love.



Just A Hint of Rain

May 25, 2010

We had a little bit of rain this morning, and while it wasn’t much (and it didn’t really do anything for the heat), it did reassure people like myself that Summer was on the wane, and that the start of the Rainy season here in the Philippines is just around the corner.  Sure we get flooding due to the occasional super-typhoon, but at least it’s tolerable when the evenings come, unlike now, where the only way anyone here at home could get a decent night’s rest was to retreat to the safety of my sister’s room and its A/C.

Speaking of which…  I don’t I’ve ever dreaded the imminent arrival of the bills before.  It’s really hard being without decent work, and still be expected to contribute to the upkeep of the house; no wonder I’m having second thoughts at studying full-time.  Too bad really that, unlike Japan, there aren’t any decent-paying part-time work to be had here at the Capital.

If worse comes to worst, I’ll have to find another BPO-related position to apply for.  I have the experience and the credentials needed for either an administrative post, or a finance-related post, but I’m still worried that I might land a job that has awesome salary, but a schedule that conflicts with my school hours.  Ugh.


Essays: The Shield of Achilles

May 24, 2010

(Author’s note: some of my less-than-stellar academic work, saved on this blog to give me something to laugh at in years to come)

The Shield of Achilles was a poem written by W. H. Auden, first published in 1953, although it also shares this name with a book he had published in 1955.  The poem is composed of nine stanzas, with four stanzas composed of eight lines each and the rest made up of seven lines each.  The poem can be interpreted as a critique of the perception some people might hold for the glory of war, when in reality it is anything but glorious.

One of the primary devices used in the poem is the use of Contrast, and by extension Duality and Parallelism.  This can be easily seen through the two obviously different stanza lengths and metrical measures, but also in the temporal settings and themes—the poem alternates between a scene from the Illiad, set during Classical times, to what could be interpreted as images of the Modern era.  Each ‘classical’ scene utilizes the eight-stanza pattern, with the second line rhyming with the fourth and the sixth with the eight, while each scene ostensibly set in the ‘modern’ era use a seven-line form called a rime royal.  Another device used is Irony, and although it is not as obvious at first, there is something bitterly ironic about the expectation of one of the poem’s characters for the eponymous Shield compared to the purpose why it was wrought.

The poem begins with a scene from the past.  Although it is not directly mentioned at first, it is a scene from the Illiad, where Thetis, the mother of Achilles, watches expectantly as Hephaestus, God of the Forge, makes a shield for her son.  In particular, she seems to be anticipating how the shield would be decorated, and given the level of craftsmanship involved, expects a thing of beauty, and as such idyllic scenes spring to her mind (“For vines and olive trees/Marble well-governed cities/and ships upon untamed seas”). This is where the irony makes itself first apparent, as she seems to fail to realize the fact that such decorations would seem awfully out of place on an implement of war.  However when she glances over the shoulder of Hephaestus she doesn’t see these, and beholds an altogether different scene (“an artificial wilderness/And a sky like lead”) instead; her expectations were grand in scope, but misplaced.

It is here where the poem first shifts temporally and structurally, juxtaposing the classical scene with a vision of a decidedly bleak image.  The scene?  A ravaged landscape (a plain without a feature, bare and brown/No blade of grass, no sign of neighborhood/Nothing to eat and nowhere to sit down) bringing to mind the trampled and barren moonscapes one would expect in those old pictures from World War I or II…  Indeed, it could very well be during one of the many confrontations during those conflicts, from Marne to Verdun (the scenes of some of the bloodiest trench warfare during World War I), where armies stared at each other (An unintelligible multitude/A million eyes, a million boots in line/without expression waiting for a sign) over endless plains of barbed wire-lined trenches, tank traps, and mine fields, waiting in dugouts for the sign to go ‘over the top’ and rush across the no-man’s land amidst a hail of bullets and artillery just to come to grips with their enemy.  The atmosphere is heavy and cheerless (without expression), as no glory awaited the soldiers, no battle with a worthy adversary, just an ignominious death from a bullet fired from an opponent whose face they would never see.

And the order does come (Out of the air a voice without a face), from voice far from the front lines espousing justice of their side of the conflict (Proved by statistics that some cause was just), which reveals the inherent hypocrisy of some systems of government, where leaders force their countrymen to war yet have never really been exposed to its horrors…  But the soldiers do, and yet they’re the ones that can’t do anything about their situation, as being part of the military means that they have to follow the senseless orders (In tones as dry and level as the place: No one was cheered and nothing was discussed) from the leaders of the government they serve.  The only sense it made was it was going to, in one way or another, lead to their deaths in a place far from home, but it was an order (They marched away enduring a belief/Whose logic brought them, somewhere else, to grief) and thus had to be followed; a soldier followed their commanders, this much has remained true from the time of Homer.

The poem once more returns to Hephaestus’ workshop, and Thetis still struggling to get a glimpse of the decorations being placed upon the shield. The scope of her imaginings contracts once more, and while less idyllic, they still hold a positive tone, with scenes of piety and worship (White-flower garlanded heifers/Libation and sacrifice).  However, through the flickering torchlight of the workshop (which could easily signify the limited perceptions of a person), instead of the altar of worship, another scene unfolds, something decidedly more profane in nature, a clear contrast to what she was hoping for.

The setting once more returns to the present.  It’s not entirely clear, but the speaker seems to be describing a place of execution (Barbed wire enclosed an arbitrary spot/where bored officials lounged/And sentries sweated for the day was hot), complete with wordless crowds (watched from without and neither moved nor spoke) and a trio of prisoners being marched to the place where they are to meet their fate.  There is a faint echo of the Crucifixion of Christ, with the triumvirate of convicts and the three upright poles that awaited them, but it’s a twisted one, a profane echo of the scene from the Bible, as instead of an inkling of hope, of a possible rebirth, there is none; their lives quite literally lay in the hands of others (Lay in the hands of others; they were small/and could not hope for help and no help came), and one is given the impression that the owners aren’t exactly in the mood to be lenient…or that those at the gallows had any leeway in changing their destiny.  The oppressive atmosphere doesn’t help matters, and with the absence of hope there’s no dignity to the spectacle (…they lost their pride/And died as men before their bodies died); one imagines cries and pleas falling upon deaf ears before the end came, and even then there was no guarantee that end was a quick or painless one.

The viewpoint once more returns to Thetis and Hephaestus.  Still she expects wondrous things, and again her imaginings lessen in scope, to events more personal, more kinetic, more lively: men and women dancing to a lively tune perhaps, and athletes performing on the field.  But yet again her expectations are way off the mark.

Well-moved lawns where competitors perform are not part of the scenes the God of the Forge embosses upon the shield, and instead in the next stanza we are treated to another barren landscape, where weeds are overgrown, and the only soul in sight is an urchin.  Far from the symbol of strength and vitality that the athletes represent, he is malnourished, not only in body, but also in spirit (who’d never heard/of any world were promises were kept/or one could weep because another wept); upon seeing a bird, traditionally a symbol of freedom of ideas, and the drive to reach or learn what’s over the horizon, his first impulse is that to stone it, for he was obviously not born from a world that encouraged idealism (That girls were raped, that two boys knife a third), or dreamers.

Eventually, Hephaestus finishes his work, and hobbles away, leaving Thetis to admire his work.  It is no surprise that she is dismayed to find that, instead of the idyllic or even idealistic scenes of peacetime activity she had expected, she instead finds scenes of despair.  Once more Irony rears its head at her reaction: what better decoration for an implement of war than scenes of war, as well as the results that follow?  That she herself doesn’t realize this, that she is more horrified at the decoration on the shield instead of the shield itself, and all the consequences of its use.  An even greater irony succeeds this one: the fact that, the recipient of the shield, Achilles, won’t live much longer after receiving it, a victim of the war that his mother could not comprehend.

As mentioned in the beginning, it is easy to see why many readers view the poem as anti-war work.  Scenes of peace (what Thetis expects) and war clash in an interesting milieu, in some instances examining the meaning of responsibility, as well as moral hypocrisy, during times of war.  Take Thetis for example.  The fact that she had a shield, an implement of warfare, made makes her complicit in the slaughter that her son could and would commit on the battlefield, and yet she expects scenes of peace to be embellished upon its surface, where in most instances it would be covered in blood.  Much like the politicians that hide behind their rhetoric and political diatribes, espousing concepts like justice or honor and pushing others to war because of those ideals, all the while remaining safe far from the front lines…They are as much responsible for the slaughter that commences as the soldiers pulling the trigger, virtually faceless and innumerable masses whose individualism were suppressed for dubious ends.


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