I think I’ve accepted the fact that, whatever I do, I’ll always be a disappointment to my father, and an object of derision for my younger sister. That’s what I get for wasting two-odd years and causing God-knows how much anguish to my mother, I suppose.
If anything, their already-low opinion of me only deepened after I quit my well-paying job at E*Trade to start studying, only to run back to my parents once my savings gave out. Although I’m working now, the fact that the salary I’m getting isn’t that hot only seems to strengthen the perception that I can’t look out for myself, and that I can’t be trusted to making a sound financial decision even if my life depended on it. Given my constant savings troubles, I’m tempted to agree with the latter assessment.
Which brings me to the most current wrinkle in my family’s interpersonal relations. As I mentioned a while back, after I learned about how heavily overweight I was in the wake of the holidays, I decided to enroll in a gym. On top of the initial membership sign-up, I’m also going to have to pay a monthly fee for as long as I remain a member. When one considers my relatively meager salary it’s a huge expense, especially when one considers that I have to contribute to paying for the bills of the house (a responsibility I had to pass on the previous month because of flagging savings), but I think it’s well worth the investment, especially in light of how much I’ve lost since I’ve signed up.
Unfortunately my father doesn’t share that assessment, and my sister’s mostly agreed with him (surprise, surprise). The thing is though, instead of confronting me directly about the issue, my father’s fallen to his usual habit of denigrating what I do when he thinks that I’m not paying attention. The other day, he was spouting how wasteful it was to pay for gym use when one can just jog in the morning (which I can’t do, since I have work), and how gyms are unsanitary since you don’t get the needed oxygen, and instead inhale the flatulence of the people who share the gym floor with you… And this morning, while I was in the loo, my father and sister were talking about how the airconditioning in gyms are usually filled with mold, which meant that you’re not getting any healthier, but sicker the more you go…
Uh, what? Clearly the logic used by my father to formulate these arguments don’t match up with anyone else’s. And let’s not go into my sister’s support in all this. Hello sis, I know that you’re taking up yoga and belly-dancing classes so you can lose weight before your wedding, so you’re in no position to criticize me.
Sorry, I just had to let this all out, else it would just eat me up inside.
Anyway, on to less weight-related stuff. Although I have a sketch ready and scanned, it still looks like I won’t be able to finish the line-art for Elise tonight, but hey, at least I was able to decide on a running pose. After that, uhm, background composition and on to the coloring stage, I guess.
Oh, and at this point I’m supposed to start revising the screenplay that I used the previous term for this semester’s workshop. Ugh, this will take a lot of work for sure, if I’m going to trim 20 pages off its number.