Trying To Keep My Chin Up

It’s really hard to be positive, when I can hear backtalk from the rest of the group just waiting for me to slip up and get terminated… which can very well happen if I don’t buck up and pass the rest of the remaining competence assurance period. Ugh. Two days to go for this week, then five days next week.  The pressure is mounting, for sure, and this time I really can’t make a mistake.

In any case, it’s the usual for me — focus on verification, callflow, and make sure that I’ve properly-researched my answers before giving out anything to a caller.  And on top of this, I’m supposed to sound chipper too.  Yeah, need to keep that in mind.

I won’t deny that my morale’s plummeted though as a result of what I’ve been hearing from the rest of the group, mostly due to how it’s actually most of my fault.  The problems with being socially awkward I suppose. I said as much to my nanay when I called her on Skype after I got home from work, and as usual she was right on point — if change has to happen, it has to start with me.

But at this point, is there anything that I can do about my social situation at work?  It’s been one year, and I’ve more or less distanced myself by choice… And I don’t think you can do social “backsies” this late in the game.

Buh. I’ll just focus on passing competence assurance and not making any mistakes on my cases.  Then I’ll go from there.

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