July 31, 2010

Ah, it’s going to be a hectic week.  I can see it now.  Banyaga paper coming up, with the final Thesis proposal as well.  Better get rested up, and pray that I can focus on what needs to be done and get serious for a change.

So, I better make the most of the weekend. Ergh.


Breathing Room

July 30, 2010

The class was able to get an unexpected break, as Dr. Baytan (uncharacteristically I might add) allowed us to use the time supposed to be allocated to his class tomorrow to work on our long papers.  Things are really tight, as not only is the deadline for the Banyaga paper coming closer and closer, there’s also the final Thesis Proposal we have to submit as well.  It’s much shorter than the Banyaga paper, and at about ten pages it should be much easier by comparison.  Or at least, I’d hope anyway.  Since I’m not taking up Literature (I’m in Creative Writing), the proposal I’m going to submit will probably be light on theory and focus instead on genre influences and situating myself in the local tradition.  While the local literary scene is still relatively young when compared to, oh, the Western tradition, there’s so much I still don’t know–all the more reason to ‘hit the (reference) books’ again.

On the non-academic side, I’m embarrassed to admit that I was so engrossed in reading that I stayed up well into the early hours of this morning.  And no, I wasn’t reading a book — instead I was reading Blackest Night, or more specifically the downloads of the core issues of that DC Comics franchise crossover plus the tie-ins with all the other DC titles.  It’s a little funny, when one considers the fact that I rarely read any of the Western comic franchises, but when I do my attention is focused on it to the exception of everything else.  Those were a lot of wasted hours, but at least I had some fun, ahahaha.

Anyway, I’ll have to catch a little nap, so I’ll be more clear-headed when I finish my assignment.

Dead River

July 29, 2010

Dead River

The old river no longer flows,
Its bright azure waters long gone.
In its place, a dry riverbed,
Its surface baked hard by the sun.
No longer do iridescent
Fish swim through its robust currents;
their sun-bleached bones lay here and there.
No longer does emerald wreathe
its banks; like skeletal fingers
empty boughs sway in the stillness.
The river, it no longer flows.

Inspiration seems so fickle.
At times it comes like a torrent,
At times, like a minute trickle.
Yet for it to cease completely
It is an artist’s greatest fear.
It is my own greatest fear,
that the reservoir of my mind
has long since dried up.

Wandering Attentions

July 28, 2010

Urgh.  No work and all play makes Myssa feel rather stupid.  That pretty much sums my feelings for today.

I… Really need to shape up.  I can’t last long this way, but oh, it’s so SO HARD to focus on what I need to do.

Productive Unproductivity

July 27, 2010

Yes, I realize how contradictory the title is, but bear with me here.  I feel like talking a bit, especially now that the issues my house’s phone lines have been suffering were resolved (for the moment).

I just spent the good bit of the afternoon looking through the Kultura shop at SM Mall of Asia, and comparing the prices of the woodcraft-based kitchenware they had on sale.  Why, you might ask?  Simply put, it’s something me and my two friends decided on as a wedding gift.  Y’see, the last member of our quartet–who is living in San Francisco–is getting married soon, and we wanted to give something that was not only of practical use to a newlywed couple (or at the very least looked very nice as a mantlepiece display), but also has that Filipino flavor.  All that we need to do now, aside from actually buying the dining set and having it wrapped, is what kind of tree the plates and bowls would be made out of.  It sounds silly, I know, but it’s important as the material used influences the price; a plate made out of the kamagong tree is much more expensive than a plate of the same size made out of, say, wood from the acacia or mango tree.

I’m still waiting for the reply of my two friends, but the decision has to be done before the end of the week, as the sister of our expatriate friend is leaving on the third of August; that means that our little gift has to be wrapped and ready before that time.

This is on top of the painting I’ve managed to do on my Cato Sicarius stand-in during the morning — all I need to do is touch-up and highlighting.  Oh, and the re-purposing of those old ideas from my high school and university years is coming along quite well too.  Indeed, the picture included in this post is one of the results of that.  I have to say, Miyuu has never quite looked as good as she is now.  Funny how more than a decade influences one’s drawing style…

Sounds like a productive use of my time, yes?  When compared to the literal lazy day that was my birthday, I mean.  Well, it was time well-spent alright, but it wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing; at this point, my very VERY important paper on Banyaga still remains unwritten, and the pressure is building, especially since it’s supposed to be a Master’s degree-length paper.  Meaning at least twenty pages of critical academic insight.

And I haven’t even typed down a single word of it.

This is on top of the fact that there’s also another unrelated assignment for the same subject for this week, never mind the revisions I need to do on much of the poems in my folio in preparation for the out-of-town Workshop for my Poetry class.

This… is no longer simply procrastination.  It’s running away from the harsh reality of academia.  I’m reminded suddenly of that one episode of Lucky Star, where Konata, while talking to Kagami on the phone, mentions the odd little things one does to avoid studying for one’s exams (like cleaning one’s room despite the fact that the exam is VERY important), only now it’s less funny when I’m the one doing it.


July 26, 2010

Well, here I am. I’m a year older to day, but I feel no different. I wasn’t expecting to, but sometimes one wonders if, for this year at least, it wouldn’t be just the same old routine. Sadly nothing particularly noteworthy happened, but I could at least take comfort in that I wasn’t sick in bed like I was during my birthday three-odd years ago.

You’d think that I feel a little reflective, as I take one more step towards middle age, but rather than that I’m feeling a little bored. And annoyed of course, but that’s more due to the fact that, up to today, the phone line problem my house is experiencing hasn’t been fixed.

Though… Maybe I do need to take an introspective walk.


July 23, 2010

Today I did… nothing, basically.  It felt like it was another long weekend, and if it wasn’t for the fact that I had a paper to write I would have just stayed in bed.  It was strange, since I felt so tired and couldn’t keep my eyes open, but as far as I remember I had more than enough hours of sleep.  I guess it’s just one of those days, where one doesn’t feel like doing anything.

Still no internet at home, so as I’ve been doing for several days now I’m posting this in an Internet shop somewhere in Metro Manila.  It was a feat to have been able to get out of bed, really, but here I am.  This, despite the dark and ominous clouds that will surely bring a deluge this evening.

I needed to check on my mail, after all, especially since we had to download this form from the Poetry Workshop group for the trip to Taal next week.